i am now officially 23 years old though i don't look and act like one. people say that i still look like a teenager. i still go ga-ga over Disney and kiddie stuff like cartoons and coloring books. but i don't mind. the important thing is i make good decisions on the things i do.
in my last entry, i was having a dilemma over my graduate studies. well, i've decided to go on with it and finish it. i actually found myself enjoying my practicum. though there were times when i got a little stressed, it was still okay. i got over those things anyway. i guess i was just nervous about my practicum. for a while, i doubted myself if i have the skills to teach those special children i handle. but as the days passed by, i realized that i can. all i have to do is to believe that i can do it.
so now, my life is running smoothly again with little bumps on the way. but nevertheless, it is still an enjoyable ride.
happy birthday to me!
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Monday, December 04, 2006
early quarter-life crisis
i'll be turning 23 in a few days. but my maturity level won't be growing old with my age because i'm thinking of throwing away a wonderful future for me. i'm talking about my graduate studies. but my parents and the people around me won't let me because they say that i'm almost done with it so why give up now? my parents said it's okay if i would quit my job coz they can support me anyway. but i should not quit my graduate studies because there are a lot of opportunities waiting for me as soon as i get my diploma. she's right. but pursuing it doesn't feel right anymore.
i am really confused. it's not that i hate special ed. i somehow have this feeling that special ed is not for me. i am better off working with regular children. i really enjoy my job so much. i forget all my worries whenever i'm working. but whenever i think of my MA, i feel depressed. i even have this theory that my MA sucked enjoyment out of my life. why? well, i sacrificed some of the things that make me happy for it. i haven't read as much books as i used to. i lost contact with some friends because i was too busy studying. i don't write in my journal anymore coz i have to write research papers instead. i sometimes go home late coz i have a class at night. i am so tired! i'm only in my early twenties, but sometimes i feel like i'm already thirty or forty-something coz i take my life too seriously. i spend so much time working hard on my career and forgetting other important things in life.
one solution i thought of is to take a break. i'll think about what i really want and if i can still go through with it. but when i told my parents about it, they rejected the idea and told me that i should quit my job instead if i feel like i need a break. i know that they only want the best for me. they said i was able to finish 4 years of college so i could also do the same with graduate studies. but i was able to finish college coz i love psychology so much. special ed is not far from psychology, but my heart is not fully in it. so that is why i'm having a hard time to finish it. and my parents don't seem to understand my point.
i know that this is my life and that i am the one who has the final say on what will happen to it. but i just can't ignore my parents' opinion. they know better than i do even if they don't fully know what's in my mind and heart.
so what do i do now?
i am really confused. it's not that i hate special ed. i somehow have this feeling that special ed is not for me. i am better off working with regular children. i really enjoy my job so much. i forget all my worries whenever i'm working. but whenever i think of my MA, i feel depressed. i even have this theory that my MA sucked enjoyment out of my life. why? well, i sacrificed some of the things that make me happy for it. i haven't read as much books as i used to. i lost contact with some friends because i was too busy studying. i don't write in my journal anymore coz i have to write research papers instead. i sometimes go home late coz i have a class at night. i am so tired! i'm only in my early twenties, but sometimes i feel like i'm already thirty or forty-something coz i take my life too seriously. i spend so much time working hard on my career and forgetting other important things in life.
one solution i thought of is to take a break. i'll think about what i really want and if i can still go through with it. but when i told my parents about it, they rejected the idea and told me that i should quit my job instead if i feel like i need a break. i know that they only want the best for me. they said i was able to finish 4 years of college so i could also do the same with graduate studies. but i was able to finish college coz i love psychology so much. special ed is not far from psychology, but my heart is not fully in it. so that is why i'm having a hard time to finish it. and my parents don't seem to understand my point.
i know that this is my life and that i am the one who has the final say on what will happen to it. but i just can't ignore my parents' opinion. they know better than i do even if they don't fully know what's in my mind and heart.
so what do i do now?
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Uninvited
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepard meet shepard
But you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
* a song by alanis
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepard meet shepard
But you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
Like any uncharted territory
I must seem greatly intriguing
You speak of my love like
You have experienced like mine before
But this is not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight
I don't think you unworthy
I need a moment to deliberate
* a song by alanis
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
just passing...
i haven't visited this blog since the last time i updated it. i was busy with my requirements in school. also, the thoughts that were running through my head for the past couple of weeks were things i would rather keep between me and my private journal. so what could those thoughts be? hmm... well, those thoughts made me throw my cell phone on the floor which is some thing i never did. it didn't break to my huge relief. yeah, i know what i did was crazy. however, i would rather let my journal keep the secret to itself. but every thing is ok now with me. i'm normal. i'm happy. it was just a phase i went through.
Monday, September 18, 2006
my wish for this week
i woke up early this morning feeling good. i wish that this signifies a great week ahead of me. i'll be presenting my research/mini-thesis on Thursday so...
Friday, September 15, 2006
by the balcony of our house, i sat down and wrote...
it's 12:17 am! haha. the date of my birthday. wala lang. gusto ko lang sabihin.
anyway, i'm still awake coz instead of coming home immediately from my class in UP (i went there to sign the attendance and left afterwards), i stopped by Sbucks to have a cup of cappuccino. wrong move. i really need to sleep but now i can't because of the caffeine. so here i am writing about senseless stuff again.
so what's up with me? hmm... nothing much. i still haven't started with my research (long live Queen of Procrastination!). i have to present it in class a week from now. and i can't believe that i actually don't care whether i have something to present or none. really. i would rather read my books (fiction) than do some research. just before i logged in here, i read my fave book of all time, By the River Piedra, I Sat Down & Wept. it's been a long time since i last opened that book. i did not read the entire book though. i just scanned it and read some parts that never fail to touch my heart. wow. i really love this book.
while trying to unearth By the River Piedra, i found another book which i still haven't read. it's Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez. you may have seen this book from the film, Serendipity. this book is the one that Jonathan (John Cusack) must find in order to retrieve Sara's (Kate Beckinsale) phone number. he finally got the book when his fiancee gave it to him as a wedding gift. watching that scene always makes me teary-eyed. haha. anyway, i've read a lot of good reviews about that book. it's about a man's second chance to win back his love. he waited half a century to declare his love. woah. that's a looooong wait. but i guess if you really, really love someone, you would wait no matter how long.
another book that is buried under my bed is The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. i also haven't read this book yet. it's about a woman who meets the love of her life when she was 6 and the guy was 36. but when they got married, the man was only 8 years older than the woman. hmmm... now that's interesting. i just wonder when i will have the time to read this book.
before i log off, i want to leave you with memorable lines from my all-time fave book. enjoy.
In real life, love has to be possible. Even if it is not returned right away, love can only survive when the hope exists that you will be able to win over the person you desire. Anything else is fantasy.
When we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love. If one person really wants us, everyone does. But if we're alone, we become even more alone. Life is strange.
No, I'm not mistaken. I know you don't love me. But I'm going to fight for your love. There are some things in life that are worth fighting for to the end. You are worth it.
But love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current. For when those walls come down, then love takes over, and it no longer matters what is possible or impossible; it doesn't even matter whether we can keep the loved ones at our side. To love is to lose control.
A thousand times I wanted to take his hand, and a thousand times I stopped myself. I was still confused - I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I didn't know how to begin.
anyway, i'm still awake coz instead of coming home immediately from my class in UP (i went there to sign the attendance and left afterwards), i stopped by Sbucks to have a cup of cappuccino. wrong move. i really need to sleep but now i can't because of the caffeine. so here i am writing about senseless stuff again.
so what's up with me? hmm... nothing much. i still haven't started with my research (long live Queen of Procrastination!). i have to present it in class a week from now. and i can't believe that i actually don't care whether i have something to present or none. really. i would rather read my books (fiction) than do some research. just before i logged in here, i read my fave book of all time, By the River Piedra, I Sat Down & Wept. it's been a long time since i last opened that book. i did not read the entire book though. i just scanned it and read some parts that never fail to touch my heart. wow. i really love this book.
while trying to unearth By the River Piedra, i found another book which i still haven't read. it's Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez. you may have seen this book from the film, Serendipity. this book is the one that Jonathan (John Cusack) must find in order to retrieve Sara's (Kate Beckinsale) phone number. he finally got the book when his fiancee gave it to him as a wedding gift. watching that scene always makes me teary-eyed. haha. anyway, i've read a lot of good reviews about that book. it's about a man's second chance to win back his love. he waited half a century to declare his love. woah. that's a looooong wait. but i guess if you really, really love someone, you would wait no matter how long.
another book that is buried under my bed is The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. i also haven't read this book yet. it's about a woman who meets the love of her life when she was 6 and the guy was 36. but when they got married, the man was only 8 years older than the woman. hmmm... now that's interesting. i just wonder when i will have the time to read this book.
before i log off, i want to leave you with memorable lines from my all-time fave book. enjoy.
In real life, love has to be possible. Even if it is not returned right away, love can only survive when the hope exists that you will be able to win over the person you desire. Anything else is fantasy.
When we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love. If one person really wants us, everyone does. But if we're alone, we become even more alone. Life is strange.
No, I'm not mistaken. I know you don't love me. But I'm going to fight for your love. There are some things in life that are worth fighting for to the end. You are worth it.
But love is much like a dam: if you allow a tiny crack to form through which only a trickle of water can pass, that trickle will quickly bring down the whole structure, and soon no one will be able to control the force of the current. For when those walls come down, then love takes over, and it no longer matters what is possible or impossible; it doesn't even matter whether we can keep the loved ones at our side. To love is to lose control.
A thousand times I wanted to take his hand, and a thousand times I stopped myself. I was still confused - I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I didn't know how to begin.
Monday, September 11, 2006
thoughts on a sleepless night: part trois
... i've got a new school ID. i can now enter the school lib and do some research or else i'll fail my one and only subject this semester.
... from november 2006 to march 2007, i'm going to be very, very busy with my job and practicum. just thinking about it makes me feel so stressed. but 5 months is not a long time. the next thing i know, i'm already at the beach having the time of my life.
... my Korean student, Ji Won, has gone back to her country. we gave her a send off party last week and she enjoyed it very much. she's been gone for a few days only but i already miss her.
... currently listening to Everything by Lifehouse. i love this song.
... in a few months, i'll be celebrating my birthday. i just wish my 23rd birthday will be a happy one. my last birthday was the saddest birthday i had. i cried a river of tears when the clock strike 12. hopefully i'll be smiling and laughing when the clock strikes 12 on my upcoming birthday.
... i got myself a new journal a few weeks ago. it was funny coz just when i reached the last page of my last journal, something happened that changed my life BIG TIME. so i guess the new journal is for the new chapter in my life.
... it's raining really hard outside.
... today is the 5th anniversary of the 9/11 attack in New York. i know it's corny, but i wish for World Peace.
... that's it. i have nothing more to say.
... from november 2006 to march 2007, i'm going to be very, very busy with my job and practicum. just thinking about it makes me feel so stressed. but 5 months is not a long time. the next thing i know, i'm already at the beach having the time of my life.
... my Korean student, Ji Won, has gone back to her country. we gave her a send off party last week and she enjoyed it very much. she's been gone for a few days only but i already miss her.
... currently listening to Everything by Lifehouse. i love this song.
... in a few months, i'll be celebrating my birthday. i just wish my 23rd birthday will be a happy one. my last birthday was the saddest birthday i had. i cried a river of tears when the clock strike 12. hopefully i'll be smiling and laughing when the clock strikes 12 on my upcoming birthday.
... i got myself a new journal a few weeks ago. it was funny coz just when i reached the last page of my last journal, something happened that changed my life BIG TIME. so i guess the new journal is for the new chapter in my life.
... it's raining really hard outside.
... today is the 5th anniversary of the 9/11 attack in New York. i know it's corny, but i wish for World Peace.
... that's it. i have nothing more to say.
Friday, September 01, 2006
losing and letting go
i am in deep sh*t right now. i lost my school ID. damn. i won't be able to enter the school library without it and i really need to go there to do some research for my paper. aaarrggghh!!! of all the times to lose it, why now??? of course, the solution for this would be to replace it. but it still sucks coz it's a waste of time and money. yeah. stupid me.
i got a really sad news yesterday. one of my Korean students will be going back to her country next week and might not come back here again. it's really sad coz i'm going to miss her terribly. just writing about it makes me teary-eyed (sob!). i'm going to miss her morning greetings and hugs whenever i arrive. even though she has been my student for a short time only, i know that things will never be the same again when she's gone. this is one of the sad things about being a teacher. being left by your students. and you can't stop them from leaving coz they have to go coz your time with them is through. when i first started teaching, i told myself not to be too attached with my students so i won't feel very sad once they leave. but it's really hard not to be attached coz i see them every day. we do a lot of things together. we play, sing, dance, eat, run, wrestle, talk, laugh, and a whole lot of other things. when they cry, they run to me for comfort. when they are happy, they share their happiness with me. even though my students are still very young, i genuinely feel their love and respect for me. and i genuinely love and respect them as well. so if they have to go, i'll let them go. but i know that they will stay with me forever in my heart.
i got a really sad news yesterday. one of my Korean students will be going back to her country next week and might not come back here again. it's really sad coz i'm going to miss her terribly. just writing about it makes me teary-eyed (sob!). i'm going to miss her morning greetings and hugs whenever i arrive. even though she has been my student for a short time only, i know that things will never be the same again when she's gone. this is one of the sad things about being a teacher. being left by your students. and you can't stop them from leaving coz they have to go coz your time with them is through. when i first started teaching, i told myself not to be too attached with my students so i won't feel very sad once they leave. but it's really hard not to be attached coz i see them every day. we do a lot of things together. we play, sing, dance, eat, run, wrestle, talk, laugh, and a whole lot of other things. when they cry, they run to me for comfort. when they are happy, they share their happiness with me. even though my students are still very young, i genuinely feel their love and respect for me. and i genuinely love and respect them as well. so if they have to go, i'll let them go. but i know that they will stay with me forever in my heart.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Quotable Quotes
1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!"
2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"
3. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"
4. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"
5. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"
6. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."
7. "Do I look like a fucking people person!"
8. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"
9. "I started out with nothing still have most of it left"
10. "I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me"
11. "YOU!!... off my planet!!!"
12. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose"
13. "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control"
14. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed"
15. "And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.....?"
16. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."
17. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."
18. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed"
19. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"
20. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"
21. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realise you haven't gone to sleep yet"
22. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."
23. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."
24. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"
25. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."
26. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it."
27. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."
28. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"
29. "Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done."
30. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."
31. "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"
32. "Earth is full. Go home."
33. "Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"
34. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."
35. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."
36. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."
37. "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport"
a forwarded email i received. enjoy.
2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"
3. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"
4. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"
5. "Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"
6. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."
7. "Do I look like a fucking people person!"
8. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"
9. "I started out with nothing still have most of it left"
10. "I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me"
11. "YOU!!... off my planet!!!"
12. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose"
13. "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control"
14. "Errors have been made. Others will be blamed"
15. "And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be.....?"
16. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."
17. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."
18. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed"
19. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"
20. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"
21. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realise you haven't gone to sleep yet"
22. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."
23. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."
24. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"
25. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."
26. "Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it."
27. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."
28. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"
29. "Chaos, panic and disorder . . . my work here is done."
30. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."
31. "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"
32. "Earth is full. Go home."
33. "Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"
34. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."
35. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."
36. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."
37. "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport"
a forwarded email i received. enjoy.
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
High School Musical
i am addicted to the Disney film, High School Musical. i've seen every replay of it in Disney channel. i have the soundtrack and i listen to it over and over again. the magic of Disney worked for me coz i got hooked. me and my 3-year-old niece love to sing the songs from the film. they are nice and catchy. my personal faves are Breaking Free, Start of Something New, and What I've Been Looking For.
so if you have no idea on what this film is, tune in to Disney Channel. if you don't have Disney Channel, just google it.
so if you have no idea on what this film is, tune in to Disney Channel. if you don't have Disney Channel, just google it.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
moving on
it was stronger than i thought. i left because i was confused. then i decided to go back one last time only to find out that everything has changed. i guess it was never really meant to be mine in the first place. and as always, life goes on for me.
Friday, August 04, 2006
just thinking
isn't it frustrating when the person you like doesn't know that you exist? worse, that person knows you but doesn't give a damn about you.
on the other hand, somebody is frustrated also because you have no idea that he exists. worse, you know that person but you don't give a damn because you're busy looking at somebody else.
just a thought...
on the other hand, somebody is frustrated also because you have no idea that he exists. worse, you know that person but you don't give a damn because you're busy looking at somebody else.
just a thought...
Monday, July 10, 2006
so tired
it's really hard to put into words what i'm feeling right now. all i know is that life sucks. but i try not to let the bad things affect the things that keep me sane like my work and studies. i really hate what's going on right now. there are times though when i wish that whatever is happening right now will last for a long time. i know it's bad to wish for something like that. but if it's for the better, then so be it. i've had enough of this thing anyway. as much as possible, i don't want to think about it. so i just focus myself on other things. it's not that i don't care. i'm just tired of this.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
21 Things I Want In A Lover
Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny?
la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover
I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow
Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week?
Up for being experimental? are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted?
...curious and communicative...
* a song by alanis
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
That it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion?
But enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine? politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
Loving someone can actually feel like freedom? are you funny?
la self-deprecating? like adventure? and have many formed opinions?
These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover
I'm in no hurry I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cuz I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure in the meantime
I'll live like there's no tomorrow
Are you uninhibited in bed? more than three times a week?
Up for being experimental? are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother? are you not addicted?
...curious and communicative...
* a song by alanis
Monday, July 03, 2006
Top 40
songs that are perma-play in my ipod:
1. Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette
2. If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
3. Waiting in Vain - Annie Lennox
4. Pangarap - Barbie Almalbis
5. Sway - Bic Runga
6. My Favourite Game - The Cardigans
7. Runaway - The Corrs
8. Every Little Thing - Dishwalla
9. Home - Dishwalla
10. I Could Not Ask For More - Edwin McCain
11. Crazy For This Girl - Evan & Jaron
12. Beauty and Madness - Fra Lippo Lippi
13. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
14. Kung Wala Ka - Hale
15. You First Believed - Hoku
16. The Reason - Hoobastank
17. Akap - Imago
18. I Miss You - Incubus
19. You're Beautiful - James Blunt
20. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
21. Canon in D - Johann Pachelbel
22. Ligaya - Kitchie Nadal
23. Everything - Lifehouse
24. Stay - Lisa Loeb
25. Breakdown - Mariah Carey
26. Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey
27. Torete - Moonstar 88
28. Ready For a Fall - PJ Olsson
29. Real - Plumb
30. Stranded - Plumb
31. 214 - Rivermaya
32. I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden
33. Dreaming of You - Selena
34. I Could Fall In Love - Selena
35. Suntok sa Buwan - Session Road
36. When You Know - Shawn Colvin
37. Gemini - Sponge Cola
38. Jeepney - Sponge Cola
39. Sleeps With Butterflies - Tori Amos
40. Miracle - Vertical Horizon
1. Head Over Feet - Alanis Morissette
2. If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys
3. Waiting in Vain - Annie Lennox
4. Pangarap - Barbie Almalbis
5. Sway - Bic Runga
6. My Favourite Game - The Cardigans
7. Runaway - The Corrs
8. Every Little Thing - Dishwalla
9. Home - Dishwalla
10. I Could Not Ask For More - Edwin McCain
11. Crazy For This Girl - Evan & Jaron
12. Beauty and Madness - Fra Lippo Lippi
13. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
14. Kung Wala Ka - Hale
15. You First Believed - Hoku
16. The Reason - Hoobastank
17. Akap - Imago
18. I Miss You - Incubus
19. You're Beautiful - James Blunt
20. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
21. Canon in D - Johann Pachelbel
22. Ligaya - Kitchie Nadal
23. Everything - Lifehouse
24. Stay - Lisa Loeb
25. Breakdown - Mariah Carey
26. Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey
27. Torete - Moonstar 88
28. Ready For a Fall - PJ Olsson
29. Real - Plumb
30. Stranded - Plumb
31. 214 - Rivermaya
32. I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden
33. Dreaming of You - Selena
34. I Could Fall In Love - Selena
35. Suntok sa Buwan - Session Road
36. When You Know - Shawn Colvin
37. Gemini - Sponge Cola
38. Jeepney - Sponge Cola
39. Sleeps With Butterflies - Tori Amos
40. Miracle - Vertical Horizon
Thursday, June 15, 2006
thoughts on a sleepless night: part deux
being insomniac has its advantages. one is having the time to update this blog. haha. i am wide awake again with nothing in particular to write about. i'm just letting the time pass until i'll find myself sleepy again (which i think is not going to happen anytime soon). so like what i always do on a sleepless night, i'm going to share with you random thoughts that are currently running in my head.
... i'm listening right now to Shawn Colvin's song, "When You Know." this song is from the OST of the film Serendipity. this song was played when Jonathan (John Cusack) opened the wedding gift given to him by his fiancee. as you know, if you've seen the film, the gift was the book Jonathan has been searching for. it was where Sara (Kate Beckinsale) wrote her name and number. what if you're about to get married and a day or hours before your wedding, you suddenly realized or felt that the person you're going to marry is not the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? you strongly feel that the "one" for you is somewhere out there. would you still go on with the wedding? and the person you feel who is the one for you is the person you met in your not-so-distant past. okay, i know that this is the storyline of the film. but what if this happens to you? hmmm...
... i want to learn how to speak French coz it has always been my dream to spend the rest of my life in Paris. i have no idea on what kind of life i'll have there. maybe i'll teach in a small preschool. i just hope that i'll meet a really gorgeous French guy. we'll get married, have kids (preferably fraternal twins, a girl and a boy), and grow old with each other. hahaha. as if!
... but right now, the language that i need to learn is Korean. not that i want to understand the Korean dramas i've been watching coz i'm already okay with just reading the subtitles. i have 2 Korean students right now and communication is sometimes difficult. learning their language is a really big help.
... speaking of Koreans, i already miss Anna and Cindy, the 2 Korean girls who attended the summer program in school. i hope they'll go back and ask for tutorial services so that i can spend time with them again.
... for the past few weeks, i've been thinking of a new hairstyle to revamp my look. i'v been wearing this long hair of mine for such a long time now and i'm starting to get bored with it. since my hair has been super straight ever since i was born, i'm thinking of having it curled. only that my mom is sooo against it. she and my sister both have wavy hair and they hated it and envied mine. she tells me that having my hair curled is a crazy idea. so i might as well go bald. at least, i'll get a totally different look.
... come to think of it, i'm already 22 years old so i can do whatever i want with my hair. but i still live with my parents and if i curled my hair, my mom might not let me in our house anymore. well, that is an exaggeration. i know she won't do that coz when my brother had his hair shaved, she still let him live in our house. only that she calls my brother crazy every time she sees my brother's scalp.
... why is the title of my blog "memoirs of an angel"? i know that i'm no angel. i just like the sound of it.
... magpa-dreadlocks na lang kaya ako ala Bob Marley?
... my mom's already awake. and i'm still awake.
... i'm craving for french fries from McDonald's right now.
okay. that's it. i'm logging off. be back soon.
... i'm listening right now to Shawn Colvin's song, "When You Know." this song is from the OST of the film Serendipity. this song was played when Jonathan (John Cusack) opened the wedding gift given to him by his fiancee. as you know, if you've seen the film, the gift was the book Jonathan has been searching for. it was where Sara (Kate Beckinsale) wrote her name and number. what if you're about to get married and a day or hours before your wedding, you suddenly realized or felt that the person you're going to marry is not the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? you strongly feel that the "one" for you is somewhere out there. would you still go on with the wedding? and the person you feel who is the one for you is the person you met in your not-so-distant past. okay, i know that this is the storyline of the film. but what if this happens to you? hmmm...
... i want to learn how to speak French coz it has always been my dream to spend the rest of my life in Paris. i have no idea on what kind of life i'll have there. maybe i'll teach in a small preschool. i just hope that i'll meet a really gorgeous French guy. we'll get married, have kids (preferably fraternal twins, a girl and a boy), and grow old with each other. hahaha. as if!
... but right now, the language that i need to learn is Korean. not that i want to understand the Korean dramas i've been watching coz i'm already okay with just reading the subtitles. i have 2 Korean students right now and communication is sometimes difficult. learning their language is a really big help.
... speaking of Koreans, i already miss Anna and Cindy, the 2 Korean girls who attended the summer program in school. i hope they'll go back and ask for tutorial services so that i can spend time with them again.
... for the past few weeks, i've been thinking of a new hairstyle to revamp my look. i'v been wearing this long hair of mine for such a long time now and i'm starting to get bored with it. since my hair has been super straight ever since i was born, i'm thinking of having it curled. only that my mom is sooo against it. she and my sister both have wavy hair and they hated it and envied mine. she tells me that having my hair curled is a crazy idea. so i might as well go bald. at least, i'll get a totally different look.
... come to think of it, i'm already 22 years old so i can do whatever i want with my hair. but i still live with my parents and if i curled my hair, my mom might not let me in our house anymore. well, that is an exaggeration. i know she won't do that coz when my brother had his hair shaved, she still let him live in our house. only that she calls my brother crazy every time she sees my brother's scalp.
... why is the title of my blog "memoirs of an angel"? i know that i'm no angel. i just like the sound of it.
... magpa-dreadlocks na lang kaya ako ala Bob Marley?
... my mom's already awake. and i'm still awake.
... i'm craving for french fries from McDonald's right now.
okay. that's it. i'm logging off. be back soon.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
insomnia
it's past 2 in the morning and i am searching google for some facts about insomnia. here are some of the things i found.
Symptoms of insomnia may include:
* Inability to get enough sleep at night
* Waking up too early
* Waking up feeling tired, even after a full night's sleep
* Daytime fatigue or sleepiness
* Daytime irritability
* Difficulty falling asleep at night
* Waking up during the night
Insomnia can cause problems during the day, such as sleepiness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and irritability. A person with insomnia may also have another sleep disorder such as sleep apnea, narcolepsy, and restless legs syndrome.
Insomnia is not defined by the number of hours you sleep every night. The amount of sleep a person needs varies. While most people need between 7 and 8 hours of sleep a night, some people do well with less, and some need more.
*http://www.symptoms-4u.com/insomnia.htm
those that are highlighted are some symptoms that i've been experiencing for the past weeks. i have no idea how it started, but i suddenly found myself always awake at 1:30am onwards. i'll be able to sleep again at around 4am then i'll wake again at 7am. when i'm at work, i always feel sleepy and tired no matter how noisy my students are. during my break, i would rather sleep than eat. aaarrgghhh... this is really frustrating me. i'll be studying again this semester so i need all the sleep that i can get at night. i just hope that i'll get really tired during the day so that i will not have a difficult time falling asleep at night. in a few hours, i have to be at work to welcome my students on their first day of school. i hope that i won't look like a zombie upon greeting them or else they will never go to school again. talk about first day traumas. haha.
Symptoms of insomnia may include:
* Inability to get enough sleep at night
* Waking up too early
* Waking up feeling tired, even after a full night's sleep
* Daytime fatigue or sleepiness
* Daytime irritability
* Difficulty falling asleep at night
* Waking up during the night
Insomnia can cause problems during the day, such as sleepiness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and irritability. A person with insomnia may also have another sleep disorder such as sleep apnea, narcolepsy, and restless legs syndrome.
Insomnia is not defined by the number of hours you sleep every night. The amount of sleep a person needs varies. While most people need between 7 and 8 hours of sleep a night, some people do well with less, and some need more.
*http://www.symptoms-4u.com/insomnia.htm
those that are highlighted are some symptoms that i've been experiencing for the past weeks. i have no idea how it started, but i suddenly found myself always awake at 1:30am onwards. i'll be able to sleep again at around 4am then i'll wake again at 7am. when i'm at work, i always feel sleepy and tired no matter how noisy my students are. during my break, i would rather sleep than eat. aaarrgghhh... this is really frustrating me. i'll be studying again this semester so i need all the sleep that i can get at night. i just hope that i'll get really tired during the day so that i will not have a difficult time falling asleep at night. in a few hours, i have to be at work to welcome my students on their first day of school. i hope that i won't look like a zombie upon greeting them or else they will never go to school again. talk about first day traumas. haha.
Monday, June 12, 2006
blog entries from another blog
i read the blog i created last year and i found some things worth posting here. here are some of them. happy reading!
TITLE: ON BOOKS AND FRAPPUCCINO (April 23, 2005)
it is a sunny Saturday afternoon. a good day for fun and relaxation. yet i am locked up in my room trying to make sense of all the statistical data in my notes. the numbers made my head swirl so i decided to know the history of philosophy. i haven't even finished reading page 1 and i'm already dozing on my desk. i have been trying to study but it's not working. my mind must have been tired from all the studying i've done in the last few days. i have been studying like crazy since Thursday and it's only the start of classes. instead of just lounging on my bed last Thursday, I went to the library and borrowed some books that will only gather dust on my desk. and yesterday, i went to the library again to photocopy some reading materials (courtesy of Jhenel's classmate last sem). i have no idea on when was the last time i was like this, but it really feels weird. i'm like the Queen of Procrastination. could it be that i've totally changed into a better person? or in this case, a better student?
of course, studying is not the only thing that occupies me these days. yesterday, i met up with Jhenel and Aie coz they have to return some notes that they borrowed from me. we went to the lib first coz Jhenel has to meet her former classmate. then we hanged out there for a while. Jhenel and I were talking about the subjects we're planning to take up next sem while Aie was sleeping beside me, when this guy started to give us dirty looks. he must have been annoyed by our chatting so we decided to go some place where we could talk (well, it's the library, and silence should be observed). since Aie was so sleepy, we decided to go to Starbucks in Katips so that she could drink coffee. it's been a while since i last went there. nothing's changed. so we just hanged out there and reminisced about our college years.
college life was really colorful. thanks to all those people we met and things that happened. we learned a lot of things from college. not only psychological concepts and buoyancy (what is this anyway? could Jhenel, Tin, and Aie explain it to me? hehe..), but also life lessons. i learned mostly a lot from the experiences i had. we all had our share of ups and downs. but i am happy coz in the end, every thing turned out well. whatever kind of life we have right now, be it good or bad, is the effect of what we did in the past. we should not blame other people for the way things turned out in our life because we are in control of our own lives. we are the ones who made the decisions for our lives. and we should just thank all those people who touched our lives and made us who we are right now.
i finally figured out the statistical data in my notes. so all i have to do is try to keep myself awake while reading all the materials i have for my psycho-philo class.
TITLE: MY AMAZING RACE (May 12, 2005)
i got myself a new job. a teacher for toddlers. i haven't even vacationed that long and i'll be working again. i'll start as soon as my classes are over. i was actually not looking for a job coz i want to spend the rest of the summer sleeping, eating, watching videos and having fun. then i thought of studying full-time next semester. but everything happened so fast. before i knew it, i have a job. this signifies a new chapter in my life. a whole new one. and it's really nice coz my job is the kind of job that i want. imagine, i'll get paid while playing with children.. hehe.. of course, i'll be teaching them the things they need to learn which will also be really fun. i'm really looking forward to this thing. but i have to finish first all the requirements in school. yesterday, our report in psycho-philo was a success. after weeks of philosophizing, discussing how to present the report, writing the hand-outs.. it's finally over. and it was a good report. i didn't expect that we'll be able to present it smoothly. the good part is that i was able to somehow overcome my fear of public speaking (i have no idea when i developed this fear). so at least my classmates heard my voice. and of course, i'm starting to feel more comfortable speaking in front of my classmates (aka, people who are older than me). haha..
i came home early yesterday to catch Amazing Race 7 on TV. Uchenna and Joyce won! really cool. (i actually knew they won even before i watched it coz i can't wait to find out who won so i checked the AR website.. haha..) Rob and Amber lost coz they had a hard time looking for the cigar shop. even though i like Rob and Amber to win (coz of their competitive spirit), it was also okay for them to lose. that would make them a million dollars richer again! and it would seem like it was arranged for them to win. but i'm just glad that Ron and Kelly lost. like what i said, i don't like Kelly. it's just sad that they ended their relationship after the race. well, Ron deserves someone better. but who am i to say who's better for someone? Uchenna and Joyce won! and i'll be looking forward for the next season of the Amazing Race.
so i'll be starting my own Amazing Race next week as i start with my new job. i know that i'll be experiencing a lot of things there. all i have to do is to give my best in every thing that i do and of course, have fun.
TITLE: MAN-HATER?! (May 15, 2005)
this can't wait any longer... i just received a message in my friendster's inbox asking me if i am a MAN-HATER. whoa... i have been asked this question a lot of times already. i don't owe any one an answer or explanation on whether i am a man-hater or not. but i'm tired of receiving this question so i'll answer it once and for all. I AM NOT A MAN-HATER.
yes, it's true. first, let me tell you why people think i am a man-hater. based from what people (particularly guys) tell me, they said that i am suplada, masungit, and mataray... especially with guys. okay, i admit that i have been like that before, but not to every guy. and i've been like that to guys who are pain in the a**. why did i say that they are pain in the a**? coz they act like they are god's gift to women (even though they're not). and i don't waste my time with guys like that. so i ignore them. others think that i am suplada, masungit, & mataray coz of the way i talk to them. mahilig kasi akong mangbara. guys often misunderstand me whenever i do that. i do that coz for me, it's my way of making them remember me (haha... yeah right). seriously, i do that coz it's one of my ways to show that i like a person. i do that to every one, even to my close friends. but my friends know that i don't really mean it. that i am just joking around. i ignore a person if i don't like him/her (as in totally ignore). people also think that i am suplada when i don't greet/acknowledge some one first. it's either i didn't know how to approach that person, i didn't recognize him/her (coz of my some what poor vision), or that i had some thing in my mind. come on, do i have to make the first move every time?
another thing which makes people think that i am a man hater is because of the fact that i don't want to have (or my lack thereof) a boyfriend. what is wrong with being single? i love my freedom very much that i don't want to be tied down to one guy only. there are more important things in life for me. lovelife is at the bottom of my list.
i think this is enough explanation as to why i am not a man hater. i was never a man-hater. and never will be...
TITLE: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH (June 13, 2005)
i'm back... i haven't visited my blog for a long time. i was busy preparing stuff in Big Tree. i was also sick for a few days coz of the crazy enrollment in UP. classes in UP started last June 7 to my big surprise. i thought that classes will start on June 9. so i attended class totally unprepared and not in the mood. but last saturday, i attended class quite prepared and excited. classes in Big Tree will start this Tuesday. of course, i can't wait. i miss my students and i'm glad to see some of them again.
i'm a little sleepy right now but i don't wanna sleep yet. i just want to release all these thoughts i have in mind. so if you started to get confused on what the heck i am talking about here, it's because my thoughts are not clear right now.
anyway, i have been missing my college life these past few days. every time it rains, i remember the experiences i had during college. the things i did like shopping nonstop (i was a Kamiseta addict back then); walking along Katipunan Ave.; hanging out with friends at the mall; eating puto, peachy-peachy, lumpia, pansit, and sopas at MAE; crushing on cute guys... i haven't done these things since i graduated from college. when i had my first job, the only things i bought with my salary were books and things i needed. it's really true that you'll learn the value of money when you're the one who earned it. unlike when i was in college, i didn't think twice on spending my allowance and charging my credit card on unnecessary stuff. now, i think a lot of times (not only twice) before spending my money. as for walking along Katipunan Avenue, i have done that last Saturday when i met up with my friends and bought school supplies in NBS. i haven't been to the mall with my friends for a long time now. we only hang out in UP or any place near UP where we could meet. i really miss strolling at the mall and just having fun. the last time i went to Miriam was last April. i hope i could go back there and eat something delicious at MAE. and i haven't had any crushes for a long time. except for celebrity crushes, i haven't seen any cute guys for a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time. i wonder where have they been? or maybe my standard for cuteness is really high. haha.. when i was working in Makati before, the number of cute guys that i saw were less than 20 (or maybe less than 10). i didn't see a lot of cute guys in the 10 months that i was working in Makati. oh well. what do i care about cute guys anyway? they're a bunch of freaks. guess i'm really turning into a man-hater. haha.. so what?! but i'm going to make an exception for Champ, the lead singer of the band, Hale. he has a really good voice. he's kinda cute. but i really like his voice and the band's songs. they're my favorite pinoy band as of the moment. before them it was Sponge Cola. i still like Sponge Cola and Yael though. hehe.. i also like the remake of MYMP's "Tell Me Where It Hurts."
i miss riding the MRT. the last time i rode the MRT was on the last day of my work in Makati.
i need to buy a new pair of rubber shoes/sneakers. the ones i have are my good 'ol Benetton and Kamiseta sneakers which are now showing signs of old age. i also need slippers that can be very useful in the rain. the slippers that i used last rainy season didn't last until December.
i miss playing Sims University. ever since Meralco billed us P10,000+ for our electricity use, dad banned kuya and i from playing pc games. but he didn't ban Rich from playing Play Station. lucky kid.
Bayo plaigarized artworks from a Japanese girl. how could they do that? i hope nobody plaigarizes what i have been writing here. haha.. dream on. as if the things i write are interesting enough to be plaigarized.
i need to have my eyebrows thread. the last time i did that was before my birthday. i also haven't visited the facial salon for more than a year. i also have to eat lunch because every time Jhenel sees me, she always tells me that i'm getting thin. and we see each other weekly. do i have an eating disorder not otherwise specified? haha.. of course not. i'm not concerned with my weight. i don't even know what my weight is anymore. but what can i do? i don't feel hungry during lunch time. i just read that eating tomatoes can help make your cheeks rosy. i love eating tomatoes. but my cheeks are not that rosy. a little only. haha..
it's already 3:33 am and i'm still awake...
TITLE: WAITING IN VAIN (September 23, 2005) *i finally got an ipod a few weeks after i wrote this
i woke up at the wrong side of the bed this morning. literally and figuratively. this day really sucked. good thing my cranky mood didn't affect my job this morning coz my students and i had a great time running around and decorating their toy drums. as soon as they left, my sucky day continued. aargghhh... i must be pms-ing coz it's almost the end of the month. so here i am watching rob and amber get married part 2 (part 1 was shown last week). duh! after a few months, they'll be divorced. haha... seriously, i don't believe in marriage anymore. but who knows, maybe if i meet some one really, really special, i might consider getting married some day. but sadly, i haven't met some one i could truly love. some one who is worth my love and time. one of the reasons why i remain single. maybe i have met him already, only that i don't know his name (read the previous blog entry). i wonder when will i see him again. only God knows. uh, why am i talking about marriage and stuff? eek...
before i slept last night, my brother and i talked about the latest stuffs from mac. of course, included in our conversation was the ipod nano. i really like this thing even if i don't have it yet. and my desire to have it is growing each day. i could actually buy it now using my credit card. only that i'll be spending more coz of the interest. but if i'll buy it on december (using cash), i'll save money. and i won't have to worry about bills. but i want to have it now! aaarrgghh... my brother always tells me that patience is a virtue.
so all i have to do is wait...
TITLE: ON BOOKS AND FRAPPUCCINO (April 23, 2005)
it is a sunny Saturday afternoon. a good day for fun and relaxation. yet i am locked up in my room trying to make sense of all the statistical data in my notes. the numbers made my head swirl so i decided to know the history of philosophy. i haven't even finished reading page 1 and i'm already dozing on my desk. i have been trying to study but it's not working. my mind must have been tired from all the studying i've done in the last few days. i have been studying like crazy since Thursday and it's only the start of classes. instead of just lounging on my bed last Thursday, I went to the library and borrowed some books that will only gather dust on my desk. and yesterday, i went to the library again to photocopy some reading materials (courtesy of Jhenel's classmate last sem). i have no idea on when was the last time i was like this, but it really feels weird. i'm like the Queen of Procrastination. could it be that i've totally changed into a better person? or in this case, a better student?
of course, studying is not the only thing that occupies me these days. yesterday, i met up with Jhenel and Aie coz they have to return some notes that they borrowed from me. we went to the lib first coz Jhenel has to meet her former classmate. then we hanged out there for a while. Jhenel and I were talking about the subjects we're planning to take up next sem while Aie was sleeping beside me, when this guy started to give us dirty looks. he must have been annoyed by our chatting so we decided to go some place where we could talk (well, it's the library, and silence should be observed). since Aie was so sleepy, we decided to go to Starbucks in Katips so that she could drink coffee. it's been a while since i last went there. nothing's changed. so we just hanged out there and reminisced about our college years.
college life was really colorful. thanks to all those people we met and things that happened. we learned a lot of things from college. not only psychological concepts and buoyancy (what is this anyway? could Jhenel, Tin, and Aie explain it to me? hehe..), but also life lessons. i learned mostly a lot from the experiences i had. we all had our share of ups and downs. but i am happy coz in the end, every thing turned out well. whatever kind of life we have right now, be it good or bad, is the effect of what we did in the past. we should not blame other people for the way things turned out in our life because we are in control of our own lives. we are the ones who made the decisions for our lives. and we should just thank all those people who touched our lives and made us who we are right now.
i finally figured out the statistical data in my notes. so all i have to do is try to keep myself awake while reading all the materials i have for my psycho-philo class.
TITLE: MY AMAZING RACE (May 12, 2005)
i got myself a new job. a teacher for toddlers. i haven't even vacationed that long and i'll be working again. i'll start as soon as my classes are over. i was actually not looking for a job coz i want to spend the rest of the summer sleeping, eating, watching videos and having fun. then i thought of studying full-time next semester. but everything happened so fast. before i knew it, i have a job. this signifies a new chapter in my life. a whole new one. and it's really nice coz my job is the kind of job that i want. imagine, i'll get paid while playing with children.. hehe.. of course, i'll be teaching them the things they need to learn which will also be really fun. i'm really looking forward to this thing. but i have to finish first all the requirements in school. yesterday, our report in psycho-philo was a success. after weeks of philosophizing, discussing how to present the report, writing the hand-outs.. it's finally over. and it was a good report. i didn't expect that we'll be able to present it smoothly. the good part is that i was able to somehow overcome my fear of public speaking (i have no idea when i developed this fear). so at least my classmates heard my voice. and of course, i'm starting to feel more comfortable speaking in front of my classmates (aka, people who are older than me). haha..
i came home early yesterday to catch Amazing Race 7 on TV. Uchenna and Joyce won! really cool. (i actually knew they won even before i watched it coz i can't wait to find out who won so i checked the AR website.. haha..) Rob and Amber lost coz they had a hard time looking for the cigar shop. even though i like Rob and Amber to win (coz of their competitive spirit), it was also okay for them to lose. that would make them a million dollars richer again! and it would seem like it was arranged for them to win. but i'm just glad that Ron and Kelly lost. like what i said, i don't like Kelly. it's just sad that they ended their relationship after the race. well, Ron deserves someone better. but who am i to say who's better for someone? Uchenna and Joyce won! and i'll be looking forward for the next season of the Amazing Race.
so i'll be starting my own Amazing Race next week as i start with my new job. i know that i'll be experiencing a lot of things there. all i have to do is to give my best in every thing that i do and of course, have fun.
TITLE: MAN-HATER?! (May 15, 2005)
this can't wait any longer... i just received a message in my friendster's inbox asking me if i am a MAN-HATER. whoa... i have been asked this question a lot of times already. i don't owe any one an answer or explanation on whether i am a man-hater or not. but i'm tired of receiving this question so i'll answer it once and for all. I AM NOT A MAN-HATER.
yes, it's true. first, let me tell you why people think i am a man-hater. based from what people (particularly guys) tell me, they said that i am suplada, masungit, and mataray... especially with guys. okay, i admit that i have been like that before, but not to every guy. and i've been like that to guys who are pain in the a**. why did i say that they are pain in the a**? coz they act like they are god's gift to women (even though they're not). and i don't waste my time with guys like that. so i ignore them. others think that i am suplada, masungit, & mataray coz of the way i talk to them. mahilig kasi akong mangbara. guys often misunderstand me whenever i do that. i do that coz for me, it's my way of making them remember me (haha... yeah right). seriously, i do that coz it's one of my ways to show that i like a person. i do that to every one, even to my close friends. but my friends know that i don't really mean it. that i am just joking around. i ignore a person if i don't like him/her (as in totally ignore). people also think that i am suplada when i don't greet/acknowledge some one first. it's either i didn't know how to approach that person, i didn't recognize him/her (coz of my some what poor vision), or that i had some thing in my mind. come on, do i have to make the first move every time?
another thing which makes people think that i am a man hater is because of the fact that i don't want to have (or my lack thereof) a boyfriend. what is wrong with being single? i love my freedom very much that i don't want to be tied down to one guy only. there are more important things in life for me. lovelife is at the bottom of my list.
i think this is enough explanation as to why i am not a man hater. i was never a man-hater. and never will be...
TITLE: BLAH, BLAH, BLAH (June 13, 2005)
i'm back... i haven't visited my blog for a long time. i was busy preparing stuff in Big Tree. i was also sick for a few days coz of the crazy enrollment in UP. classes in UP started last June 7 to my big surprise. i thought that classes will start on June 9. so i attended class totally unprepared and not in the mood. but last saturday, i attended class quite prepared and excited. classes in Big Tree will start this Tuesday. of course, i can't wait. i miss my students and i'm glad to see some of them again.
i'm a little sleepy right now but i don't wanna sleep yet. i just want to release all these thoughts i have in mind. so if you started to get confused on what the heck i am talking about here, it's because my thoughts are not clear right now.
anyway, i have been missing my college life these past few days. every time it rains, i remember the experiences i had during college. the things i did like shopping nonstop (i was a Kamiseta addict back then); walking along Katipunan Ave.; hanging out with friends at the mall; eating puto, peachy-peachy, lumpia, pansit, and sopas at MAE; crushing on cute guys... i haven't done these things since i graduated from college. when i had my first job, the only things i bought with my salary were books and things i needed. it's really true that you'll learn the value of money when you're the one who earned it. unlike when i was in college, i didn't think twice on spending my allowance and charging my credit card on unnecessary stuff. now, i think a lot of times (not only twice) before spending my money. as for walking along Katipunan Avenue, i have done that last Saturday when i met up with my friends and bought school supplies in NBS. i haven't been to the mall with my friends for a long time now. we only hang out in UP or any place near UP where we could meet. i really miss strolling at the mall and just having fun. the last time i went to Miriam was last April. i hope i could go back there and eat something delicious at MAE. and i haven't had any crushes for a long time. except for celebrity crushes, i haven't seen any cute guys for a loooooooooooooooooooooooong time. i wonder where have they been? or maybe my standard for cuteness is really high. haha.. when i was working in Makati before, the number of cute guys that i saw were less than 20 (or maybe less than 10). i didn't see a lot of cute guys in the 10 months that i was working in Makati. oh well. what do i care about cute guys anyway? they're a bunch of freaks. guess i'm really turning into a man-hater. haha.. so what?! but i'm going to make an exception for Champ, the lead singer of the band, Hale. he has a really good voice. he's kinda cute. but i really like his voice and the band's songs. they're my favorite pinoy band as of the moment. before them it was Sponge Cola. i still like Sponge Cola and Yael though. hehe.. i also like the remake of MYMP's "Tell Me Where It Hurts."
i miss riding the MRT. the last time i rode the MRT was on the last day of my work in Makati.
i need to buy a new pair of rubber shoes/sneakers. the ones i have are my good 'ol Benetton and Kamiseta sneakers which are now showing signs of old age. i also need slippers that can be very useful in the rain. the slippers that i used last rainy season didn't last until December.
i miss playing Sims University. ever since Meralco billed us P10,000+ for our electricity use, dad banned kuya and i from playing pc games. but he didn't ban Rich from playing Play Station. lucky kid.
Bayo plaigarized artworks from a Japanese girl. how could they do that? i hope nobody plaigarizes what i have been writing here. haha.. dream on. as if the things i write are interesting enough to be plaigarized.
i need to have my eyebrows thread. the last time i did that was before my birthday. i also haven't visited the facial salon for more than a year. i also have to eat lunch because every time Jhenel sees me, she always tells me that i'm getting thin. and we see each other weekly. do i have an eating disorder not otherwise specified? haha.. of course not. i'm not concerned with my weight. i don't even know what my weight is anymore. but what can i do? i don't feel hungry during lunch time. i just read that eating tomatoes can help make your cheeks rosy. i love eating tomatoes. but my cheeks are not that rosy. a little only. haha..
it's already 3:33 am and i'm still awake...
TITLE: WAITING IN VAIN (September 23, 2005) *i finally got an ipod a few weeks after i wrote this
i woke up at the wrong side of the bed this morning. literally and figuratively. this day really sucked. good thing my cranky mood didn't affect my job this morning coz my students and i had a great time running around and decorating their toy drums. as soon as they left, my sucky day continued. aargghhh... i must be pms-ing coz it's almost the end of the month. so here i am watching rob and amber get married part 2 (part 1 was shown last week). duh! after a few months, they'll be divorced. haha... seriously, i don't believe in marriage anymore. but who knows, maybe if i meet some one really, really special, i might consider getting married some day. but sadly, i haven't met some one i could truly love. some one who is worth my love and time. one of the reasons why i remain single. maybe i have met him already, only that i don't know his name (read the previous blog entry). i wonder when will i see him again. only God knows. uh, why am i talking about marriage and stuff? eek...
before i slept last night, my brother and i talked about the latest stuffs from mac. of course, included in our conversation was the ipod nano. i really like this thing even if i don't have it yet. and my desire to have it is growing each day. i could actually buy it now using my credit card. only that i'll be spending more coz of the interest. but if i'll buy it on december (using cash), i'll save money. and i won't have to worry about bills. but i want to have it now! aaarrgghh... my brother always tells me that patience is a virtue.
so all i have to do is wait...
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
a walk in the park
i was in the village park of the school where i work yesterday during my break. i've been going in that village for almost a year now and yesterday was the first time i visited their park. since i went there at past 12pm, the place was deserted. even though the sun was shining so bright, the soft wind somehow helped in lessening the heat. the sounds that i heard were the chirping of the birds, the laughter of the children playing from the nearby street, and the sounds from the cars passing by. it was such a perfect moment. even though i wasn't able to bring my journal with me, i would never forget that moment. i sat on one of the swings and relaxed myself for the first time since i became so busy with work. i just sat there and smiled to myself.
i wish that some day in the future, i'll go to that park (or any quiet and beautiful park) with some one who would happily share a beautiful moment like that with me. because a moment like that is best shared with someone.
i wish that some day in the future, i'll go to that park (or any quiet and beautiful park) with some one who would happily share a beautiful moment like that with me. because a moment like that is best shared with someone.
Sunday, April 23, 2006
just passing by...
wow. i can't believe that i haven't written here or in my journal for weeks. i've been really busy with work that some people call me a workaholic. haha. i guess i really am. but i've never been this excited with my work. i actually don't feel like i'm working. all i know is that i'm happy with the way things are. nothing's new. i'm still me.
Sunday, April 09, 2006
thoughts on a sleepless night
i'm now back in the blogging scene after busying myself with school work. so what's up? well, here i am still awake at an ungodly hour. the caffeine that i drank last night still have an effect on me. note to self: don't drink iced hazelnut mocha and hot hazelnut mocha all in one night. i now consider myself a certified coffee addict ever since starbucks opened near my place. before, my usual order would either be hot/iced choco or green tea frap. i seldom order coffee coz of its bitter taste. but now, what the heck. i want coffee, baby!
aside from indulging myself with coffee, i'm now busy preparing for the upcoming summer program in school. it's kinda tiring, but i don't mind. i need to occupy myself so as not to drive myself crazy thinking about certain things. things like the "big mystery." haha. what is that "big mystery"? hmm... it's the thing that has been bugging me for the past few weeks of my life. i have almost given up finding the answer to that mystery. but i know my heart will not rest until i find the answer.
i watched the film Meet Joe Black the other day. before, that film did not have an effect on me. now it has. no wonder it's my brother's favorite film. he knows the lines of every character by heart. Lightning could strike. you'll never know when it will hit you. when it hits you, it will be in an unexpected place and time and with the last person you have in mind. my goodness...
a few hours ago, i finally finished playing Sims 2 in my game boy. at last!
i only have a few blank pages left in my journal so i've got to start looking for a new one. or better yet, i'll create my own journal. hmm... that would be fun.
before i left for starbucks the other day, i watched Baby Looney Toons in cartoon network. hehehe! i couldn't stop laughing. bugs, daffy, taz, tweety, and sylvester are so funny and cute.
out of boredom, i decided to bring out my coloring book collection and put color to the lifeless pictures. barbie now has the most colorful shirt in the world. snow white is still colorless. ariel looks good. but i wonder why her hair is darker in one page. i must have used the wrong color. belle's blue dress became red. hope it's alright with her.
i love to admire my newly-sharpened colored pencils. but i wonder why i have boxes of 16, 24, 48, and 64 pieces of crayola. hmm... can't get enough of crayons?
... after writing all these things, i'm still not sleepy. hoo boy...
aside from indulging myself with coffee, i'm now busy preparing for the upcoming summer program in school. it's kinda tiring, but i don't mind. i need to occupy myself so as not to drive myself crazy thinking about certain things. things like the "big mystery." haha. what is that "big mystery"? hmm... it's the thing that has been bugging me for the past few weeks of my life. i have almost given up finding the answer to that mystery. but i know my heart will not rest until i find the answer.
i watched the film Meet Joe Black the other day. before, that film did not have an effect on me. now it has. no wonder it's my brother's favorite film. he knows the lines of every character by heart. Lightning could strike. you'll never know when it will hit you. when it hits you, it will be in an unexpected place and time and with the last person you have in mind. my goodness...
a few hours ago, i finally finished playing Sims 2 in my game boy. at last!
i only have a few blank pages left in my journal so i've got to start looking for a new one. or better yet, i'll create my own journal. hmm... that would be fun.
before i left for starbucks the other day, i watched Baby Looney Toons in cartoon network. hehehe! i couldn't stop laughing. bugs, daffy, taz, tweety, and sylvester are so funny and cute.
out of boredom, i decided to bring out my coloring book collection and put color to the lifeless pictures. barbie now has the most colorful shirt in the world. snow white is still colorless. ariel looks good. but i wonder why her hair is darker in one page. i must have used the wrong color. belle's blue dress became red. hope it's alright with her.
i love to admire my newly-sharpened colored pencils. but i wonder why i have boxes of 16, 24, 48, and 64 pieces of crayola. hmm... can't get enough of crayons?
... after writing all these things, i'm still not sleepy. hoo boy...
Thursday, March 16, 2006
answers...
i am still a little overwhelmed with all the things i discovered today. wow. i can't believe it. but i am actually glad coz now i know. i won't be confused anymore. i finally got the answers that i am looking for. with the exception of one. the biggest mystery of them all. i know that i'll soon have the answers about that mystery. only that i am not yet prepared for it. but i will be. one of these days, i'll have the answer. then it would be another answered prayer.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
movie quotes
i've compiled some lines that i like from the movies i've seen. here goes.
10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair; I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; It even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right, I hate it when you lie, I hate it when you make me laugh; Even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, And the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you; Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
CITY OF ANGELS
Seth: I'd rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand than an eternity without it. One.
Seth: Some things are true whether you believe in them or not.
Seth: Let's go.
Maggie: Where?
Seth: Anywhere.
Maggie: What'll we do?
Seth: Anything.
Seth: Hello Maggie! It's nice to see you again.
Maggie: It's weird to see you again.
Seth: Weird is nice.
Maggie: When they ask me what I liked best, I'll say it was you.
EVER AFTER
Henry: I have not slept for fear I would wake and find this but a dream.
Danielle: That's not fair! You've found my weakness, but I've yet to find yours!
Prince Henry: I think it should be quite obvious by now.
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally Albright: You can't express every feeling you have every moment that you have them.
Harry Burns: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally Albright: What?
Harry Burns: I love you.
Sally Albright: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry Burns: How about, you love me too.
Sally Albright: How about, I'm leaving.
Sally Albright: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you!
Marie: All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband.
MEET JOE BLACK
William Parrish: Love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without. Someone you fall head over heels for. Find someone you can love like crazy, and will love you the same way back. Listen to your heart. No sense in life without this. To make the journey without falling deeply in love, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try, because if you haven't tried, then you haven't lived.
Susan Parrish: Tell me you love me now.
Joe Black: I love you now. I love you always.
William Parrish: It's hard to let go isn't it?
Joe Black: Yes it is, Bill.
William Parrish: Well, that's life.
MY GIRL
Veda: I only surround myself with people I find intellectually stimulating.
NOTTING HILL
Anna: The fame thing isn't really real. Don't forget, I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Anna: Can I stay a bit longer?
William: Stay forever.
William: So it was nice to meet you; surreal, but nice.
PRETTY WOMAN
Vivian: In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.
REALITY BITES
Troy: What happened is that um, I kinda got this arcane glimpse of the universe and the best thing I can say about that is... I don't know.
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING
Lucy: Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person really knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that you were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?
10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU
I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair; I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; It even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right, I hate it when you lie, I hate it when you make me laugh; Even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, And the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you; Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
CITY OF ANGELS
Seth: I'd rather have one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand than an eternity without it. One.
Seth: Some things are true whether you believe in them or not.
Seth: Let's go.
Maggie: Where?
Seth: Anywhere.
Maggie: What'll we do?
Seth: Anything.
Seth: Hello Maggie! It's nice to see you again.
Maggie: It's weird to see you again.
Seth: Weird is nice.
Maggie: When they ask me what I liked best, I'll say it was you.
EVER AFTER
Henry: I have not slept for fear I would wake and find this but a dream.
Danielle: That's not fair! You've found my weakness, but I've yet to find yours!
Prince Henry: I think it should be quite obvious by now.
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY
Harry Burns: I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle in your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Sally Albright: You can't express every feeling you have every moment that you have them.
Harry Burns: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, I love you.
Sally Albright: What?
Harry Burns: I love you.
Sally Albright: How do you expect me to respond to this?
Harry Burns: How about, you love me too.
Sally Albright: How about, I'm leaving.
Sally Albright: You see? That is just like you, Harry. You say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you!
Marie: All I'm saying is that somewhere out there is the man you are supposed to marry. And if you don't get him first, somebody else will, and you'll have to spend the rest of your life knowing that somebody else is married to your husband.
MEET JOE BLACK
William Parrish: Love is passion. Obsession. Someone you can't live without. Someone you fall head over heels for. Find someone you can love like crazy, and will love you the same way back. Listen to your heart. No sense in life without this. To make the journey without falling deeply in love, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try, because if you haven't tried, then you haven't lived.
Susan Parrish: Tell me you love me now.
Joe Black: I love you now. I love you always.
William Parrish: It's hard to let go isn't it?
Joe Black: Yes it is, Bill.
William Parrish: Well, that's life.
MY GIRL
Veda: I only surround myself with people I find intellectually stimulating.
NOTTING HILL
Anna: The fame thing isn't really real. Don't forget, I'm also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.
Anna: Can I stay a bit longer?
William: Stay forever.
William: So it was nice to meet you; surreal, but nice.
PRETTY WOMAN
Vivian: In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.
REALITY BITES
Troy: What happened is that um, I kinda got this arcane glimpse of the universe and the best thing I can say about that is... I don't know.
WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING
Lucy: Do you believe in love at first sight? Nah, I betcha don't, you're probably too sensible for that. Or have you ever, like, seen somebody? And you knew that, if only that person really knew you, they would, well, they would of course dump the perfect model that they were with, and realize that you were the one that they wanted to, just, grow old with. Have you ever fallen in love with someone you haven't even talked to? Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
break time
been feeling pretty low for the past few days. seems like my bad day turned into a bad week. lack of sleep, confusion, stress, and the list goes on. i need a break. i'm just glad that summer's fast approaching so that i could hibernate in some beach far away. i'll read, listen to music, walk, watch the sunrise and sunset, and ogle on cute guys. haha! if only i'll have the time coz my boss is currently at the other side of the world and i have to supervise her school while she's away. so i'm stuck here in the city with all my pathetic problems.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
helllloooo!!!!
i'm back in the blogging scene. for the nth time! well, just the third time. my first blog "disappeared." the second blog still exists. only that i don't feel like updating it anymore. i created those blogs last year. since it's already 2006, i decided to create a new one. this year is definitely a new life for me. so stay tuned.
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