a wish come true

'tis the season to be jolly. i am glad that i'm not going to be a grinch this season coz i am happy. for the past few months, i've been down and depressed. i resorted to different kinds of therapy, some of which resorted to disastrous results. okay. just to be clear. i was not clinically depressed. i was just sad. so i robbed my own bank account and shopped till i dropped. i even closed one of my bank accounts because of my "retail therapy." the therapy didn't work, of course. it only made me more sad at the sight of my bank statements. so i imposed a Mall Ban to myself. somehow, it worked. i still have a surviving bank account and enough money to buy gifts for other people. i already bought enough gifts to myself. haha. of course, the Mall Ban is lifted for now because it's Christmas season. i know that it's going to be a big test for me once i go back to the mall. but i believe in myself. i know that i won't be impulsive buying again.

in my last entry, i wished for one perfect day of happiness. i did that coz i was so sad that time. the wish didn't come true. but it's okay. the important thing for me right now is that i'm okay and still surviving my boring life. haha. i learned that it's okay to be super sad. it actually made me realize and appreciate the simple things that make me happy which i usually ignore.

i guess the emotional turmoil i had in the last 3 months was the effect of not trusting myself that i could still be happy and okay in spite of all the the troubles i had. at least, my wish of not losing my faith came true. and that is something to be happy about.